In September I wrote a post,
Preview: DTR, that included the text, "Using other peoples' bathrooms can be a pleasant or traumatic experience."
This post will serve as an explanation of the previous post by tracing the etymology of "DTR," examining this recurring phenomenon, and closing with a recent anecdote.DTR is, of course, an acronym for "dick-towel roulette." Although the scenario described as DTR has been around since the invention of indoor plumbing, its etymology can be traced back to the summer of 2009 when the Lorax traveled to the mysterious and primitive land known as "male college-student apartment."(MCSA) After participating in a ritual watching of a film while drinking a native fermented wheat-beverage, the Lorax had to heed the call of nature, and then things got interesting.
In the twisted realm of MCSA, inhabitants urinate in a small bathroom-like chamber. However, in addition to a toilet, sink, towel rack, mirror, and shower, the chamber of the MCSA includes many other objects needed by its inhabitants. These include but are not limited to: a gallon jar filled with change, a stack of assorted magazines, cardboard boxes, clothing (both clean and dirty), bottled water, a refrigerator, lighter fluid, and, of course, a jar of creamy peanut butter. Despite all of these spectacles, the Lorax was most troubled by contents of the towel rack.
The small towel rack in MCSA housed not one, or two, but THREE full-sized bath towels. It was general knowledge amongst researchers that MCS only require one towel on average after showering. So what was the meaning of the two surplus towels? After washing its hands, the Lorax found itself locked down into a particularly suspensful game of DTR, dick-towel roulette.
DTR raises many questions: Why does a MCS have three full-sized bathtowels? Which one of these should I dry my hands with? Which one of these does he use to dry off with after the shower (thus making it a DT) and how do I identify it and avoid using it?
In the end, there are no winners in DTR. Even if you choose correctly, which the Lorax did not that fateful night, the only way of finding out if you are victorious is to ask the owner of the towels, which can easily create an awkward situation.
Last night, I found myself in the middle of another potential DTR scenario. After washing my face at my boyfriends house, I grabbed the hand towel from the towel rack and proceeded to dry my face with it. As I was doing this, my bf said "That is the towel that I use to dry my dick off with." I immediately looked up and cried, "it's like DTR all over again!" He was confused, especially since he was joking. This led me to explain the phenomenon of DTR and how it is not joking matter. So remember folks, DTR is a serious game, a game in which there are no winners.