The New York MTA and I have a very dark past... but I will get to that later. You see, when I say that I like them I mean that I actually don't like them at all. In fact, I think they can be downright silly sometimes; to my chagrin, today was indeed one of those times.
I had a 12:30 flight out of Laguardia so the Lorax decided to leave Lexi's apartment at 8:30am and get some diner breakfast before taking the train to the bus to the airport. Being the responsible young adult that she is, Lexi checked to see what trains would be running this morning and we learned that our pre-determined route was out of commision because of construction.
The next day we arrived at 42nd street feeling confident and full of delicious diner food only to find that our alternate route had been shut down for the day because of a police investigation. It was noteably only shut down between 42nd street and Queensboro (the stop where we were to the stop we were going to). Needless to say we were starting to get antsy.
So we hopped on another train but as the doors were closing we heard an announcement that said: "If you are going to Laguardia airport take this train and transfer to Queensboro via the Q8 bus." This would have been helpful if we knew which stop had this transfer. We continued to travel farther into the depths of Queens, and further from the Queensboro stop when Lexi finally just said, "Maybe you should just take a cab."
This was a good idea since over an hour had passed and we had no idea what was going on. So I emerged from the Subway to find that we were in an area of Queens with very few taxis. Another issue was that I didn't have ANY cash because I didn't think I needed any because I wasn't taking a cab.
Needless to say, a middle aged woman stopped and I thought I was home free because she had a touch-screen swipe thing for credit cards. However, I quickly found out that her COMPUTER WAS DOWN!! AHHHHH! She suggested that we stop at an ATM, I got cash and I thought that my troubles were over.
Note how I said THOUGHT. Once the payment questions were handled the true awkwardness began. The driver told me that I was her first ride, ever. I obviously looked surprised and she said "Just kidding, I have been doing this for fifteen years." Which if left alone would stand as an awkward but acceptable joke. However, she kept going...."Ever since my husband died and left me to support three kids under the age of five I have been a cab driver. Now the oldest is 19 and the youngest is 15... Life is hard in the city, it's no place to raise kids... I pay $1,700 a month for rent...I still share a room with my 15 year old child..." etc. And then it got MORE AWKWARD.
She looked me over in the rear-view mirror and said, "You look nice..." slightly awkward to get these comments from a cab driver when you are alone with them..."...it must be nice to be skinny. I am going to get gastric bypass surgery next month and maybe I will look like you someday... My kids tell me that if I am not fat anymore people won't get up and let me sit down on the subway (laughs). My 15 year old child who I share a room with doesn't want me to do it because she says that my stomach feels like a teddy bear..."
I ended up getting to the airport in one piece albeit slightly weirded out. I did give her an excellent tip though...
Next post: The story of my dark, dark past with the NYC MTA (hint: It envolves the popo, China town, and the A Train)
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